A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

Mitt Romney

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...