What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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kcuf read it backwards

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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