- Anti Joke

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Loner.

What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D