Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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the love boat

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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fava beans

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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