What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

Where's my tractor?

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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