Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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The Female Orgasm

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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sorry got to poo

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops