Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Brad Fuller!

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There's a car about to hit me.

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YOU

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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