Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Knock, Knock ...

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Two Black men, one wearing a blue shirt, and one wearing a red shirt, Jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The one in the blue shirt

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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