How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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