Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Oh, right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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