What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Brad Fuller!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops