What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women Sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

eden stop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops