Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

24

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops