Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down

oh hai

thumb_up thumb_down

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

thumb_up thumb_down

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops