Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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...............................................................hi

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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1d

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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