Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

...............................................................hi

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

are you saying pam, or pan?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Daym im romantic

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops