Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

penis

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

Colby Michael Schluter

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

Laugh

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...