Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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