Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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a man said hi.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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