Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Hello.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Your all fags

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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Mormons having fun.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Your mom is so fat...

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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