When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Justin's humor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a building full of black people Jail

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops