Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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69

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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THE END.

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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