What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops