Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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Womens' sports

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Whats the difference between Steven Hawkin and Gary Glitter? Ones severely disabled and ones a paedophile.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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