Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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You read the Terms of Service.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Stop Spam Read Books

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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retard

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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modern love

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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