What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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