OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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The jets are a good team..

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue At least that's what I've been told But honestly I've never seen those flowers so I wouldn't know.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops