What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

How do you hold someone in suspense?

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

i lost the game

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

The guy above me has a very nice joke

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

I am a joke. I am funny.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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