Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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butt sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops