Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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I'm hungry.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops