A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What's Blue and tastes like orange cake? A blue cake.

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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GONNA

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops