Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

Hi

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

What did the teacher do? He taught.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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