What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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I'm hungry.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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