Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

The joke below is absolute shit.

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

Knock knock Get off my porch.

Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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