- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Get in the car.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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