What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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