What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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