A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Brad Fuller!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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