Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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