your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Butt poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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