A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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