Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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Your face is hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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