Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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balls

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WHAT????

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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9/11

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops