What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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NEVER

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Fart

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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The Christian Bible.

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Hello.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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