do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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