Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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drugs.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops