Paper shield.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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