See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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I once did something.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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