How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

When im invisible you cant see me, i know

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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