a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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xavier stop

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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Where's my tractor?

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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