Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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