Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops