What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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