There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Joke.

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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