Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust. A: Me not getting my Christmas presents.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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