*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def lepeord

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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What killed the name cool? Coolio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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